Milan Lucic is a liar and a penis

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Whiny loser baby Milan Lucic got socked in the jaw and buckled by the Columbus Blue Jackets’ Dalton Prout on Friday. You can watch the video here. It sent ripples throughout the NHL media as the big, tough, bad boy from Boston was brought to his knees by basically just some guy. It was a BIG DEAL.

Instead of owning up to getting owned, Lucic decided to spout off to the media that he wasn’t ready to fight! He wasn’t going to drop the mitts because it was the end of regulation and that would be a dumb thing to do. And then he said…

I’ve been in over 100 fights and I never took a shot like that… I find it gutless.

As you can see in the above picture, the 6’4 bowel-movement from Vancouver was in the process of shedding his mitts when he got hit in the face by that guy. Lucic’s quote is being paraded about by great Boston writers like Joe Haggerty and that moron who said that DeKeyser getting hit in the nuts by Lucic was A-Okay.

Let’s get back to the verbal diarrhea that flowed out of #17’s mouth after getting dummied by a guy from Columbus…

 I’ve been in over 100 fights and I never took a shot like that… I find it gutless.

Anywho, after you’ve read that quote again you can watch plenty of examples of 230 lbs of horse ejaculate cheap shotting opponents:

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Doesn’t look like Ryan McDonagh was prepared to fight there. Not gutless.

ehwdcHow about you Victor Hedman, who has four career fights? Not gutless.

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Not gutless.

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John Scott was willing to fight. But then Lucic said no. And then he punched him in the face. Also not gutless.

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Admittedly, we’d all like to punch Patrick Kaleta. However, that’s a sucker if there ever was one. Not gutless, though.

In conclusion, Milan Lucic is a liar and penis.

SNAKE EYES

Some of you probably remember that penalty shot; it’s about the unluckiest thing I’ve ever seen live. However, through 18 games this season, the Blackhawks are giving ol’ Vik a run for his money. They’re just one point above 0.500, and sitting one point out of a playoff spot were they to start today. And, like a rich girl only getting a BMW for her Super Sweet 16, many Hawks fans are ready to write this season off as a lost cause, blaming anything from Joel Quenneville’s incessant line shuffling to a dearth of goals in the second period (only 6 pucks have found the back of the net in the middle frame thus far this season for our men in red). Continue reading

What the hell was that? Red Wings (4) Blackhawks (1)

Krusty the Clown accurately describes my feelings on this one. That was awful. The effort from just about everyone on the Blackhawks was terrible. Three turnovers cost the Blackhawks and they were of the Pee-Wee-Players-Don’t-Do-That-Shit variety. I’m sick of watching this team putz around and the coach continue to step on rakes. Let’s break this down quickly…

Continue reading

Goodnight, Sweet Caveman Prince

Nick Leddy is the defenseman of the future. Defensemen that can skate are the new norm and, as we’re learning with recent research on zone entries, guys that can skate with the puck in all three zones provide more value than can be measured by simple points and corsi. Leddy is a 22 year old that can skate like the wind, keep the puck on his tape, and flip the ice in a matter of seconds; he’s a player that can take the puck from behind his own net and carry it 180 feet with sometimes reckless abandon. Continue reading

When the S*** Goes Down

That’s basically the third line tonight. A mumbling, drunk guy who just isn’t very good (Kris Versteeg), a giant and not-good player (Michal Handzus), and a guy who is awesome but has no legs (Patrick Sharp).

After seeing the lines and speculating about all kinds of stuff for the future, I’ve gotta say that I’m just ready for this game to start. If you want any sort of analysis, this is not the place to get it today. I haven’t eaten anything and am not very good at math.

It should be time to break the glass and play Tyrion’s speech from Blackwater, but that’ll come before game 7. Remember, we still haven’t seen anything from this gentleman yet: